Day 15- No cheating!

I am mostly certain that this is the longest I have ever gone without taking a single drag from a cigarette.  My last quitting attempt was Jan-March 2011, and while yes, two months is longer than the two weeks I have been thus far, I admit that I was a cheat last time.  I snuck a drag from a friend's cig on a night out while drinking; I bummed from a stranger while walking around downtown by myself.  I don't recall exactly when or how often those occurrences happened, but I know that they did.  This time: nothing!  Not a single puff in two weeks.  Honest.

I feel really good about it.  I recognize that in cheating last time, I was only cheating myself of the opportunity to be free of this addiction and habit.  Any step back just isn't worth it to me anymore.  I have made the decision to rid myself of this totally voluntary and poisonous habit, and I want to accomplish this goal so badly. 

Oh, there have been MANY times that I've wanted one.  A few times I've been desperate for one... hands clench and teeth gnash and that guy outside holding the cigarette is probably wondering why I'm staring at him with this crazed look on my face.   Most of the time, I just chew the nicotine gum and try to distract myself.  I will sometimes just randomly groan out loud or simply say, "man, I really want a cigarette."  If you're around me when this happens, please know I'm not trying to complain and I'm not going to cave.  I know I'm making the right choice.  Please treat it as a warning sign of a fragile mood or a cue that I need to be distracted.  Thanks :)

A few things I've learned:

I used to use smoking as a procrastination tool way more than I realized.  What follows is a typical conversation with myself in my brain:

• Hey, you need to take out the trash and recycling.  It's your turn and it's piling up a bit.
• But I also want to smoke a cigarette.  I have to wash my hands after I touch those horrible garbage bins, and why would I smoke after I've washed my hands?  I should smoke first and then in the meantime forget that I was supposed to take out the trash.
• Okay.  Deal.

End scene.  This makes me a crappy roommate and a lazy smoker.  Now, I just take out the trash.  Way, way better.

Also, I have no reason to impatiently rush to leave places.  The movie's over?  Now I can shuffle politely along with the rest of the people because I'm not going to get to smoke when I get outside anyways, so... relax.  No need to drive my feet like I used to drive my car on I-10 west-bound (with purpose, people!)

I'm sick right now.  I have a cold and it's stupid and annoying.  Amazingly, the sore throat period only lasted half a day and wasn't that bad.  Sweet.  I'll bet the cough won't stick around as long either (when it gets here).  My smoking used to drag a cold out to last about a month.  Today is day 5 of this sucker; let's see how long it lasts this time.

Most difficult moments for me are 1) when I'm out drinking for an extended period of time, such as to watch football.  Sports are stress and booze is a trigger and it was always nice to take a break outside.  2) When I'm by myself around the city and I know I could get away with it.  Integrity FTW!  3) Slow moments at work when I just want to get my butt out of this office chair and breathe outside air for a minute.

On that note... I think I'll go take a walk with some gum.  It's awfully pretty outside today.

Status: Day 15, still smoke-free!  $0 donated.  1-2 pieces of gum/day.