Day 1

I woke up this morning and my very first thought was, "Today is the first day of the rest of my life!"  If you are not or never have been a smoker, this may seem a little overly dramatic.  What's telling is not an hour later I received a text saying this exact thing from a supportive friend who is a few weeks ahead of me on the quitting train.  Breaking this addiction will be HUGE.  I'm actually pretty excited.

So far, so good.  I've got my third piece of nicotine gum tucked away in my cheek as I type, and I just got back from a lovely stroll in the park near my office.  It's all part of the plan I've alluded to a few times now and have outlined below.

1. Nicotine Gum.  Last time I tried to quit (Jan-March 2011), I opted for the patch instead of the gum.  The patch is designed to be worn all day and delivers a steady flow of nicotine into the bloodstream.  It was pretty horrible.  I was nauseous when I wore it, and even the lowest dosage level gave me the kind of nicotine buzz a cigarette never could.  The gum is a smaller dosage (2mg) and can alleviate a craving in just a few minutes.  It really doesn't taste great and after a few minutes of chewing, it develops a hardness akin to leaving out regular gum on the counter for a while and then popping it back into your mouth.  Not amazing, but better than cancer.  I intend to lean more heavily on the gum initially and then replace the gum with the next substitute...
2. Tea Tree Oil Toothpicks.  These tasty little wonders made of renewable Birchwood were pretty amazing during my last quitting attempt.  So much so that I continued to use them even after I started smoking again.  The tea tree oil gives you minty fresh breath, and the Birchwood stands up to some legit teeth grinding that can accompany a bad craving.  The toothpick satisfies the hand/mouth fidgety feeling, and these will be especially helpful on my walk to the bus or when I get antsy at a show.
3. The Blog.  As I mentioned in my first post, I think documenting my thoughts, associations and progress will help me to consistently analyze what's working and what isn't.  It will also hold me accountable throughout the process, although the most important factor is really to be accountable to myself.  Last time I snuck too many cigs from strangers and didn't tell anybody.  Oops.  See?  Even admitting that now is holding me accountable to not make the same mistakes as last time!  
4. Association Replacements.  A friend mentioned to me that while quitting, she continued to take "smoke breaks" and would instead drink a cup of tea.  This is an interesting one.  At first, I thought it would be more difficult since it would be so apparent to me that I used to have a smoke during [insert break time here].  I'm still not entirely sure what to fill this time with since I'm not a big tea drinker, but I do really enjoy taking ten minutes outside of the office 2-3 times a day.  I also enjoy sitting outside on my patio at night, thinking about my day and looking at the stars (or fog, as is often the case).  Today, I've popped in a piece of gum and taken a loop through South Park instead of standing in the back corner of the parking lot smoking.  I think that will get boring after a time, but I also hope that I don't continue to get the itch at my previously scheduled smoking times for too long.
5. Training.  Despite my increased smoking after a bad break up at the beginning of the summer, I suddenly found myself with more running endurance than I have ever had in my life.  Amazingly, out of nowhere, I could run 3 miles without stopping.  This is a big deal for me, and I really enjoyed it and the sense of accomplishment it gave me.  Since then, I had a foot injury and have been out of commission, but my wound is healing and I'm hoping to be back in action within a few weeks.  With my upcoming increased lung capacity and my healed foot, I want to start training for a long distance race in the Spring.  I'm thinking either a 10K or a half marathon.  Still need to do some research and find a race, but I've got some time because of my stupid foot.
6. Rewards.  I've got a few splurges picked out for benchmarks reached along the way.  Money I would have spent on cigarettes will now go towards one of these fabulous prizes! *Prizes subject to change on a whim.
1. Day 1 (yes, I already won a prize, lol): Buy yourself a new pair of glasses for crying out loud cause you've been talking about doing this for forever and your glasses are nine years old.  This is my somewhat arbitrary prize that I just now decided to link to making the decision to take the leap and QUIT!  Whatever.
2. 1 Month Mark: Go to Fleet Feet and get fitted for some legit running shoes.  The ones I've been using for a year now are falling apart and are specifically for trail running.  This one doubles as an investment in my training as well.
3. 2 Month Mark: Purchase some fancy wrinkle cream.  Shutup, I'm almost 30.  No shame.  I want to have skin like my beautiful mom and sisters do :)
4. 3 Month Mark: Have my teeth professionally whitened.  I have had this one in mind for years and have never made it this far.
5. 6 Month Mark: Take a vacation to somewhere I have never been.  Sorry, Texas, but you take up nearly all of my vacation time and as much as I love friends and family, it doesn't usually feel like vacation. 
6. 1 year: I honestly have to believe that by the time I get to one year, the innumerable rewards of being a non-smoker will be so apparent that I won't need to go buy myself something.  I CANNOT WAIT to learn of all the unexpected joys of being free of this addiction.
7. Disincentives.  This piece is the kicker.  I have to give credit to my friend Jeremiah Rogers, who employed this technique in his weigh loss goals earlier this year.  If I have rewards, I must also have punishments.  I am looking at this process with as much optimism as I can muster, but I also have to be realistic in that I may slip up at some point.  Having a set punishment in place will bring swift consequences, allowing me to get back on track and not dwell on the setback.  For every cigarette smoked from here on out, I will donate money to the American Family Association (AFA).  Let me be clear, the punishment here is donating my very own, hard-earned money to an organization whose cause I do NOT support.  I am not against family; I am against the AFA's narrow-minded definition of family and the way in which they spread hateful messaging to demonize people whose lifestyles and choices do not adhere to their (Evangelical Christian) definitions of morality.  Depending on where I am in the process, this will cost me.  
1. If it's in November: One single puff = $5 donation; one entire cigarette = $10 donation.
2. If it's in December: One single puff = $10 donation; one entire cigarette = $15 donation.
3. If it's in January: One single puff = $15 donation; one entire cigarette = $20 donation.  <You can see where this is going...>

If the above 8 point plan isn't enough to make you think I'm taking this quitting thing pretty seriously this time around, I don't know what else I could do to convince you.  I'm sick of being embarrassed by my cigarette smell.  I'm sick of the tightness in my chest and panting after climbing a few flights of stairs.  I'm sick of all of the detours and caveats I've built into my day every day for the past 17 years all so that I can smoke a cigarette.  It is nearly always on my mind.  I'm sick of feeling like I can't hug my niece or nephew after smoking because I smell bad.  I'm sick of how shameful I feel every morning on the way to work when I walk past the elementary school, hiding my cigarette from all the kids starting their day.  I'm sick of spending all the money I have spent to kill myself slowly.  I'm sick of standing outside the bar/restaurant/bus stop/office/friend's house/venue/etc by myself as everyone walks past with a mingled look of disgust and pity.

One thing that I've loved to remind myself lately is that I literally do not know of a single person who would not support my decision to quit. 

Status: 9 waking hours smoke-free; I haven't even yelled at anybody yet!